Blow Off Steam after a Long Week

I.

So tired of being an afterthought that my head hurts!

If you ever wanted to buy my love, an SNES Classic would do nicely.

Thinking of going to the Uptown block party this afternoon –

Go Band and Go Blue! Not going to mention how humble I am.

Kapernick and the NFL kneelers now have everyone’s attention,

But it’s like beating a dead horse.

II.

Tell me about your favorite picture books to teach empathy and respect.

Theon Greyjoy killed his fucking dog, let’s see who follows him.

People expecting the world to change overnight are the same people

That pour KoolAid in the ocean. What’s Step 2 of this plan?

Geek out with mind blowing prints (a sight to see, I tell ya).

I truly hope everyone finds someone in life that makes them feel the way

Albert makes me a better person.

Awesomeness met in rainbows before class started today

III.

If you ever shop on Amazon, you need to see this:

Wicket can hardly handle the excitement over his monthly delivery of fun.

The flash sale was small, but I am super excited that students showed up

And didn’t want to leave.

IV.

I love hearing I don’t look 50 years old!

Woot! The day is mine again!

Anyone else going? CCHS Homecoming Weekend festivities today.

I miss you and expect you to change color like a Mystery of the Universe.

What is it about me that makes many seemingly sane women lose their shit?

I know I’m pretty, and I’m a tiger in the sack.

Thanks Katie for being my date – much prefer this to a hospital bed

I know I’ve had a long one. Thanks, world, for loving me.

V.

Working all night behind the bar, stop in and try one of the 62 different beers here.

Labor laws are cool, but mandatory midday work meetings

Leave me pretty exhausted.

I’ve been pretty much done nothing but school stuff since Wednesday.

My wit, humor, and joie de vivre can’t hurt either.

It was a blast drinking spiced cider in the backyard while my dude worked

VI.

Eleven years ago today, I was breaking in the wedding heels

By walking around the house in them while nursing

Fire at my place tonight if anyone is looking.

Photo by Yvette de Wit on Unsplash

Facebook status poem 10/1/2017

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Origins of “Slap Me Silly”

Like most commonly used phrases, no one is sure exactly where “slap me silly” came from, but my amateur sleuthing has uncovered a few possibilities. One thing is for certain: it most likely originates from our linguistically creative cousins in the talkative Down South. I found a few articles about this which also included several other colorful southern-isms. But let’s stick with this one for now.

“Slap me silly” appears to be one of many variations of the more well-known “Slap my ass and call me Sally.” I don’t know who this Sally person is, but she must be into some BDSM! For giggles, here are a few more variations. The common theme among these is the grammatical structure of “[verb] my [body part] and call me [noun or proper noun].”  The phrases are all used to express a reaction of surprise or astonishment. Below are a few of the more creative ones:

  • Paint me green and call me a cucumber.
  • Slap me with bread and call me a sandwich.
  • Pin my tail and call me a donkey.
  • Fry me in butter and call me a catfish.
  • Saddle my back and call me a horse!
  • Well knock me down and steal my teeth!

Some of these are decidedly more amusing than others, but you get the point. For more Southern-isms, check out this article, which will have you rolling, or at least scratching your head.

On a side note, I must also mention Mike Lange, who is an ice hockey play-by-play broadcaster for the Pittsburgh Penguins of the NHL. As an avid Chicago Blackhawks fan, the last thing I want to do is draw attention to the Penguins, but this guy also has some fun variations, from “Get in the fast lane, Grandma, the bingo game’s ready to roll!” to “Scratch my back with a hacksaw!” I stumbled upon Langeisms while searching for “slap me silly” (a phrase he also uses frequently), and there are plenty more of his fun phrases here.

I also happened upon a cool blog during my search that I’ve decided to follow: Strong Language (A Sweary Blog About Swearing).

Thanks for reading, and let me know if there are any other phrases you want to know more about. I am definitely not a professional at this whole etymology thing (but I’m smart enough to use a fancy word like etymology). And I like this stuff because I’m a huge word nerd.